At some point this will all make sense. We are not quite at that point yet.
Here, spring is slowly springing and I think I am slowly feeling like myself again. I love it up here but the darkness, the wind, and cold that chills you to the bone is just too much. Every winter, spring just can’t come fast enough and this year has been no different.
Luckily, with each day we get further and further from it. I now know that my summer will look different than it has in years past, and it has made me realize that I am truly on the verge of adulthood. Part of me feels ready to jump into the deep end, hold noise, close my eyes, hold my breathe and jump, and figure the rest out later. The other part of me wants to turn around and leave the whole idea behind me.
I know that is not how life really works but I wish I had a bit more of a choice in the matter. I am just not sure what I am doing or where I am good but from understand that is a lot of adulthood.
In terms of content, life has just been crazy and I have just needed a nap, a brain break, time to myself instead of another thing on the todo list. I am still trying to find a balance with everything. I like creating content, and it is something that fulfills me and brings me joy, but I just can’t hold it on the same priority level as school, work, friends, myself. It is the easiest thing to put on and take off the to-do list, but yet I always feel like I might be letting someone down.
In a perfect world I would just do everything in batches. That way there would be a lot less I would have to do every week. Fingers crossed that I am able to do that this summer, but at the same time don’t cross them too tight.
In summary, life is crazy and I think that’s how its supposed to be.
