At one point I had a plan to post weekly on this blog on Thursdays. Guess what I didn’t do last week?
If guessed publish a blog post, you have won…..
NOTHING!!!!!
I had planned to write a beautiful, and deep post about my spring break adventures. And that very well may happen one day. But that day is not today. And I am fine with that.
I am learning to be fine with the fact that its never going to be perfect. I am learning to be fine with the fact that it will never be like it was. I am learning to be fine with the fact that it will never be like this again.
Right now, I feel like I have I am mess. There’s work, and rehearsal, and practice, and ensemble, and homework, and readings, and group projects, and air checks, and essays, and studying, and quizzes, and applications that all have to get done in a timely fashion. And then there’s my need and desire to be the best daughter, sister, friend, co-worker, employee, student, group member and musician I can be.
Oh! And I am human being that apparently requires things like sleep, food, hobbies and relaxation.
Its a lot. There’s days where I feel unstoppable and there’s days where I feel like what have I gotten myself into. And yet, the majority of the time I am scheming about the next project I want to take on.
I love the feeling of having my life together. But no one really has it all together. Some people are just better at acting like they do than others.
And instead of beating myself up, I learning to embrace it.
There’s only about a month left of my first-year of college. And by this time next year, I will be half-way done with my degree. Four-years seems like the an entrirty when you start it. But its really not.
At some point, this will all change. I will change. People will change. Places will change. Relationships will change. Things will leave me, and I will leave things behind.
And I am fine with that. I know it’s going to happen and there’s nothing I can do about it.
A wise man once said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you stop to look around once in a while, you’re going to miss it.”
So, I am trying to embrace it all.
One day it will be different. I will want bits and pieces of this back. So, I can complain about it all and stress about it all. Or, I can just decide this is my life at the moment and it can change at any moment so I am going to try and be grateful for it.
Easier said then done, when you realize you have an 8 page paper due on Tuesday. And it’s Thursday, and all you have is an outline. At which point, you obviously write a blog post…..
